There's More Cuckoo In Switzerland Than Their Clocks

More Environmental Wackiness

The Swiss, a few years ago, added a provision to their constitution that gives dignity to all living organisms using the term ?Würde der Kreatur? (dignity of living beings) to apply to both plants and animals. To explain exactly what this means, the Swiss Federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology produced a report called "The Dignity of Living Beings with Regard to Plants."

There is a reason the most famous invention of the Swiss is the cuckoo clock. There are obviously more holes in their heads than in their cheese. The report appears to be one of those college psychology text book examples of the kind of things written by the inmates of insane asylums. This is typical:

"Committee members unanimously consider an arbitrary harm caused to plants to be morally impermissible. This kind of treatment would include, e.g. decapitation of wild flowers at the roadside without rational reason." [Emphasis mine.]

Apparently, "beheading" daisies is not totally forbidden, though no explanation is given for what a "rational reason" for lobbing off their blossoms might be. A friend suggested "self defense." You know, if you are being attacked by wild pansies, cut their heads off to your hearts content.

There is no wonder Americans have such terrible reputations in Europe. I know the Swiss will be horrified to learn we have machines in this country with no other purpose than to go along the roadside cutting the heads of everything.

Someone needs to inform the Muslims about this. They're missing so much fun. If you cut off the "heads" of many flowers, they grow new ones. With people you only get one shot, but if you're beheading flowers, you get to do it over and over again. The Muzzies should love this.

This is not an anomaly in the way the Swiss, ah ..., use their heads. I was going to say, "think," but that didn't quite fit. In Switzerland you have to take a course in fishing before you can get a fishing license. I'm not sure what their difficulty is, American children manage to fish quite well without taking a course. Actually, the course is meant to teach the Swiss how to fish the government approved "humane" way.

To insure all Swiss do their fishing humanely, Switzerland has passed a law banning all catch-and-release and live bait fishing. This will certainly be a great relief to Switzerland's earthworms. But Switzerland's idea of humanity toward fish seems a bit peculiar. Catch-and-release, if you are not a fisherman, refers to the practice of catching fish for sport, which no one intends to eat, so they are released back into the water from which they came. I suppose the fish's dignity is a bit bruised by being caught, but they seldom suffer more than that. According to Switzerland's "humanitarian" law, any fish caught must be killed by whacking it on the head with a heavy blunt instrument. Anyone can see how much kinder that is.

To the rational these ideas seem wacky, and they are, but one can sort of see why the greens and animal rights folks react the way they do. It's not rational, it's emotional. That part most of us share with them and is why most of us have pets. It's a sense of kinship with animals that share many of our own natures and traits. It's why the big eyed cat and playful dog appeal to us so much. In a way, one can almost sympathize with those who think a daisy looks like a bright smiling face. But one really has to wonder about what kind of people feel a kinship with earthworms.